Sometimes life is too hard to bear when a friend is just not there.
—Anonymous. Maybe a twelve year old emo girl but I feel it.
Horrorcore?
Ever thine, ever mine, ever ours. <3
I never knew I was lost until I was found. One of those phenomena you assume happens only to those fictional blessed with glory written into their palms. Loving Talin was like a waterfall. Tumultuous and outpouring and unstable and a miracle on Earth. And now, loving Talin is like breathing air. There is no other way to describe the indescribable sensation. I used to think dying proved you were alive. But loving? Therein lies the essence of passion, rage, oxygen, desire, whatever. It’s fucking gorgeous. And I know now what it means to die happy, although with him in my life its something far from wanting.
Love alters when it alteration finds. And if it causes the alterations? I no longer wake up afraid. I’ve started believing in hope. I now see far, not wide. What else could possibly have come from the unexpected and unexplained devotion from him? I know my reasons and am lost as the swimming blind in search of his. But day after day, there he is.
The eighteenth of July, Talin knew I was in a situation where danger was nameless but alive. He ran to me not knowing the details or dramatis personae (which, trust me, would have stopped many). A car hit him and continued but so did he. Like a perfectly written novel we ran to each other. Like a badly written movie we were both injured. And just like that, there it was.
I want you to be my wife.
And I was complete.
All the world’s a small sacrifice for your love.
Change of Behavior.
That was the name of a project I was assigned in Psychology last year. Suffice it to say, the words “successful failure” need not be applied exclusively to Apollo 13. I turned in a 5-page report about my foul mouth evolving into a medium from which only amiability flowed.
I was cussing at the printer as the very report was jamming.
I am amazing when it comes to bullshitting projects (as are any students of the American school system) and have turned in report after report with Wikipedia-like facts, all the while the evil red teacher’s pen becoming my friend. The words “needs improvement” became “you are amazingly insightful!” And what had changed really? The extent of my ability to do lazy research and turn speculation into beautiful untruths.
I think I need to change this. Probably not the bullshitting, which I have been told is a skill I will need all my life and should let flourish. But what needs to change is the problem at the infrastructure - I have stopped truly caring about significant things. I could have taken my Change of Behavior assignment and let it grow with myself, but I just turned it into a forgettable project, priviet dasvidanya don’t forget hat. I know I am late on a New Year’s resolution but there’s a good month and three-quarters left (or should I wait for 2011…). I hereby vow to give a crap. Really.
Day 12 - Whatever tickles my fancy
I learned today that all it takes for me to become murderous is 14 seconds. I’m still deciding if that’s help or hindrance. Please standby…
The Musings of a Girl at 4 in the Morning.
I thought I was the Wiser,
He thought he was the Braver.
I was ready
To follow him to Hell,
Thinking Wisely of reliability.
He was ready
To follow me to Hell,
Thinking Bravely of adjustability.
He was the Wiser.
I was the Braver.
Day 08 - A photo that makes me sad
Nobody accepted the phase when I really felt like myself :(
People need to understand that when you’re doing something like this, it’s a military procedure. That’s why we’re the Army of Two, not the Group of Assholes with Guns.
—Andre Kriegman <3
NIGHTNIGHT by DEDDY
